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 Cyberbullies

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Rakiaplease
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PostSubject: Cyberbullies   Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:42 am

I am new to this site but wanted to say how nice it is to find a BG forum that has a positive membership. Other popular forums seem full of 'lets knock em all' posts where nobody has a good word to say about anyone or anything.

Nothing seems to bring people together like unhappiness. Reading posts on other sites there seems to be nothing but doom and gloom. As soon as a thread starts that has something positive to say about someone or something then the negative comments come thick and fast. Many seem to be without foundation and people are attacked without any real recourse.

"
There is evidence that group cohesiveness may be related to negative feelings about others,"
Tom Buchanan, a psychologist at the University of Westminster in London, told New Scientist. I couldn't agree more and I applaud members on this forum for taking a more positive stance with their posts.

If you are taking part in things like this it is not harmless fun. You are being a cyberbully in my opinion. You also benefit from total anonymity in most cases...

Anyway thats my Monday moan done and dusted. I hope to use this forum to make positive contributions about life in Bulgaria.

Rakia anyone g
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Blink
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PostSubject: Re: Cyberbullies   Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:47 am

You are indeed right this forum in my opinion is the friendliest forum around and its all down to the admin and his merry men and ladies that run the ship. I'm glad you have found this to be as you say "
a BG forum that has a positive membership"
which is what this forum is all about, don't get me wrong some of us do have our moments but we soon apologise if we have over stepped the mark.
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Esta
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PostSubject: Re: Cyberbullies   Mon Mar 12, 2012 11:06 am

Could not agree more - Some (myself included) dare not even post at times, especially on more controversial subjects, on other forums!!!!

I edited this as I wanted to add: It is a shame as I have been here for 4 and a half years - I know loads about my area, good contacts, bad contacts , and could probably help no end of people settle here in BG - with less hassle . I am sure there are also many others who have been here a long time who feel the same!!!
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Andy
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PostSubject: Re: Cyberbullies   Mon Mar 12, 2012 11:27 am

You are so very right this forum is friendly I have seen so many people on other forums shot down in a blaze just because they have asked a controversial question and in some cases the person asking is new to Bulgaria but as it says on the banner of this forum 'A friendly forum for all things Bulgarian' which sums up the ethos on here.
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tonyb60
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PostSubject: Re: Cyberbullies   Mon Mar 12, 2012 12:23 pm

:Thank you:I'm sure admin and the rest of the team appreciate what has been said.

_________________
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Scunnered
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PostSubject: Re: Cyberbullies   Mon Mar 12, 2012 12:50 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
T I'm sure admin and the rest of the team appreciate what has been said.

Definately, it's great to get some positive comments.
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Noddy
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PostSubject: Re: Cyberbullies   Mon Mar 12, 2012 12:56 pm

This is a well balanced forum and one that respects all those who take part and it's great top hear such feed back as your when so often on some forums its all as you say doom and gloom but not on here although some of us do have our off days but its short lived and admin comes and smacks our hands.
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oldun
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PostSubject: Re: Cyberbullies   Wed Mar 14, 2012 8:41 pm

Just catching up with topics as I am on holiday in UK and loving it! I must agree that this forum and the Admin are all great. I have always tried my best to contribute helpful and honest posts even when not really feeling so good. I have done this since starting chatting on forums around 2004. However, after some time of pleasant interaction, I became the subject of what is known as a 'troll' or cyberbully. It was carefully done so only I would understand what was being attempted which was to undermine me. This led to a loss of confidence in myself and a victim of vicious gossip by people who I don't even know or have never met in real life. It was only after reading up on this kind of 'bullying' and why some people do it, that I understood what was going on. I dealt with it by leaving the forums involved. I will say no more, but anyone else who is persistently 'stalked', bullied or made to feel their contributions were worthless, just be assured it is not your problem. The Admin on this forum have made sure this sort of thing does not happen and quickly takes steps should someone come on with this behaviour in mind.
I am so happy to be here and back to enjoying posting again thanks to everyone involved. T
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willowsend
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PostSubject: Re: Cyberbullies   Wed Mar 14, 2012 11:47 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
Just catching up with topics as I am on holiday in UK and loving it! I must agree that this forum and the Admin are all great. I have always tried my best to contribute helpful and honest posts even when not really feeling so good. I have done this since starting chatting on forums around 2004. However, after some time of pleasant interaction, I became the subject of what is known as a 'troll' or cyberbully. It was carefully done so only I would understand what was being attempted which was to undermine me. This led to a loss of confidence in myself and a victim of vicious gossip by people who I don't even know or have never met in real life. It was only after reading up on this kind of 'bullying' and why some people do it, that I understood what was going on. I dealt with it by leaving the forums involved. I will say no more, but anyone else who is persistently 'stalked', bullied or made to feel their contributions were worthless, just be assured it is not your problem. The Admin on this forum have made sure this sort of thing does not happen and quickly takes steps should someone come on with this behaviour in mind.
I am so happy to be here and back to enjoying posting again thanks to everyone involved. T

oldun, so pleased you are in the UK, with your man I hope, all the best with your spirit and honesty to life
As I have said before I love your posts, the negitives, the positives and the vibes you get out of life. You being you, don't change
You and I have been subjected to some of the most hateful cyberbullies on the internet but we are still here and we are still fighting, and it is good to know that we are on a forum that likes to see and hear about fair play. Well done Admin and all the crew ::
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oldun
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PostSubject: Re: Cyberbullies   Thu Mar 15, 2012 10:12 am

Thanks for your encouragement too Willowsend. Its so good when people respond to posts, not just in agreement, but with good debate too. We all have different views which are interesting to share. Expats arrive with their own agendas and forums help to encourage and inform on all kinds of topics. 'A problem shared, is a problem halved' kind of thing. Its bad when someone joins with the sole intention of disrupting the group. I noticed this practice growing on other forums over the years and it was sad to see. A forum is only as good as the people on it and Admin have the unenviable job of policing it.
Sometimes bullying on a forum can spill over into real life, as some of us know, which is then upsetting in the extreme but it seems it is very hard to stop even with police intervention unless a crime is physically committed. However, this forum is running well and lets hope there is no-one out there intent on disrupting it. If anyone does have any suspicions about any member, new or old, I would suggest that a PM to Admin would be a good idea. It will be taken seriously.
ps. No, unfortunately my hero is not with me but still in Bulgaria looking after the animals! He is quite happy there as I am here. Looking forward to seeing him again bearing gifts!
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Rakiaplease
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PostSubject: Re: Cyberbullies   Thu Mar 15, 2012 10:58 am

Oldun wrote

Quote :
However, after some time of pleasant interaction, I became the subject of what is known as a 'troll' or cyberbully. It was carefully done so only I would understand what was being attempted which was to undermine me. This led to a loss of confidence in myself and a victim of vicious gossip by people who I don't even know or have never met in real life.

Sorry to hear this happened to you. One thing I want to stress is don't lose confidence in your self because of this. I am of the old school...if you have something to say about me say to my face rather than hiding behind a computer. If someone won't express their view to you in person are their comments worth worrying about? I think not...

I am all for open forums where people can exchange views and ideas but not when they are used for gossip. The problem with the internet is that anyone can register false details and then attack others without any come back what so ever. I am not sure how this can be policed and is a very negative side of the internet.

Anyway your post says you are on holiday in the UK...yuk. I have been back a few months now and am fed up already. BG here I come !
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oldun
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PostSubject: Re: Cyberbullies   Thu Mar 15, 2012 11:24 am

:Good post:Rakiaplease. Yes, I agree cyberbullying does undermine anyone who experiences this which leads to loss of confidence. It can be a while before its realised what is happening and that the bully quite often tells complete lies about themselves or their lifestyle in Bulgaria. They really are sad people who are unhappy in their own situation and there is nothing to be done about the perception they have of themselves. In my case, my stalker could quite easily see me and tell me to my face anything they have to say. I don't expect to be universally liked! However, it has never happened.
I have done the right thing by never responding but it is very hard because there is no result in real terms. The satisfaction comes from knowing that the lack of response will really upset the perpetrator. Even using another username often doesn't help because the stalker is always on the lookout and leaving the forum concerned is the only way but this spoils the fun of chatting on a forum where many friends have been made in cyberspace.
This is certainly the downside of the internet which has many positives especially when living abroad where many expats are not near other folks or do not wish to integrate in a totally expat society. It has made me much more wary of posting but I suggest that deleting 'history' so people more IT literate than me, cannot watch my movements on a computer. Always remember to log out of your email address or searches if using an internet cafe! I didn't and I used to get so much 'junk mail'. This applies to social websites too. Be very careful with your information always!
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Rakiaplease
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PostSubject: Re: Cyberbullies   Thu Mar 15, 2012 11:34 am

Oldun said

Quote :
I have done the right thing by never responding but it is very hard because there is no result in real terms.

I think you did completely the right thing by not responding If a bully does not get a response they soon move on to their next victim.

I also believe in karma...what goes around comes around.
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oldun
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PostSubject: Re: Cyberbullies   Thu Mar 15, 2012 2:20 pm

I also believe in Karma but just sometimes these bullies can really get to you and there is really nothing more you can do except leave which seems very unfair but thats the best way. I have heard from someone that my particular bully has more or less left the forums that I was on but pops up now and again probably just to see if I am still around and will make the mistake of responding. Tempting but no! I cannot speak face to face because then they will know that I have been upset - result for them.
In my case, my suspicions were confirmed when a private message from a Moderator asked if I knew the name of this person! I did, and they were banned before any post was allowed to go online. It was very well-spotted by Admin on that forum and although I never saw the offending post, it must have been pretty obvious it was of malcontent towards me.
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willowsend
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PostSubject: Re: Cyberbullies   Thu Mar 15, 2012 3:37 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
Oldun said

Quote :
I have done the right thing by never responding but it is very hard because there is no result in real terms.

I think you did completely the right thing by not responding If a bully does not get a response they soon move on to their next victim.

I also believe in karma...what goes around comes around.

Hi Rakiaplease
I dont want to drag my problems onto this forum anymore regarding Cyberbullies, Trolls, so I am not going to post in answer to this topic, except to ask you that if you have got time to sit down with a coffee for half an hour then please click on the link and you will get a good insight into what Oldun and I have been subjected to
viewtopic.php?f=46&
t=5398
T
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